Thursday, 2 April 2015

"Well, my family and I can't live in good intentions, Marge!"





Ah, great opportunity, exposure, and a chance to refine my lifestyle writing skills.

"Living the dream!" - Scott Blanc


Hi Darragh, 

Thank you for interest in contributing editorials to Indigo Memoirs Magazine. just to let you know that contributions for our magazine are free for the time being. Our contributors have a great opportunity to refine their lifestyle writing skills. Also you have the opportunity to to be published in a booming magazine that has doubles in readers each month. Finally we also credit you in the article and add your profile to our contributor page.

I have attached a style guide for your information, please make sure you read this carefully. If you would like to contribute to our magazine,the deadline for your article will be Wed 15th April midday. We would need minimum 2 articles by this day.

Here's some examples that have done well on the website. The last one is written more in article style as oppose to listical, so if you want to review something in particular let me know and I can get back to you on whether it fits our magazine. Have a look on our magazine for more examples. 




Let me know how all this sounds, also have a look on our site and let me know which category you would like to write for and I can send you over some titles to choose from. 


Thanks!, 

______


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Indigo Memoirs
This communication has been sent from the offices of Indigo Memoirs Ltd. Located at Studio 10 125 Mare Street E8 3RH London. Its contents and any files attached are confidential and may contain privileged information. If you are not the intended recipient please notify the sender immediately by reply e-mail and please permanently delete the message from your system immediately. You should not copy it or use it for any purpose nor disclose its contents to any other person. Indigo Memoirs Ltd. is a limited company with a company number 08778083 established in the United Kingdom on 15th November 2013.





11:58 AM (26 minutes ago)

Dear _____,

Thank you for your response. Unfortunately, refining my style and gaining great exposure will not pay my bills, so I have chosen to respectfully decline your offer.

However, it seems that your own style and grammar could use some refining. I can happily provide an edit for you, for a small fee. This would be a great opportunity for you to improve your standards.

If this sounds like something you might be interested in, feel free to contact me

Kindest regards,


Friday, 27 March 2015

In memory of Andreas Lubitz




I am an advocate for depression and mental health issues. I speak openly about my own suffering. In January, I published a post about my brush with suicide. Which was fucking hard. It's still hard. Not a day goes by that I don't feel uncomfortable around my friends, my colleagues or my family, because I know that they know my darkest secret. I wonder what they're thinking. Did my announcement make them afraid for me? Afraid of me?

I shared my experience because the public forum for this topic doesn't exist. It is not a free topic of discussion. It is not safe for sufferers to discuss. It is a great, dirty secret. I can tell you that I still fear being ostracised because of my condition. I work so hard to manage my problems and stay on top of things. I've been lucky enough to have a wonderful network of friends and family around me, to support me when I can't support myself, to allow me to share my secrets openly.

This morning, the papers are plastered with the news of Andreas Lubitz and his own great, dirty secret. They call for answers. "How did he pass his medical assessments?",  "Who allowed him to work in such a field?", "Who do we blame?".

People who suffer from mental health issues aren't a pox to be scourged. We aren't a pest to be controlled. We aren't the shit on your shoe that got dragged into your house, on your precious fucking carpet. We aren't a mysterious creature, to be discussed openly without our own input.

Open your hearts to Andreas Lubitz and every other individual like him. In his last moments, all he knew was the inviting warmth of the end of his life. No more suffering, no more pain. Walking away from suicide is the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. In my case, I wasn't flying a plane full of people, but all I can tell you is that in those moments, the promise of relief drowns out any and every other notion in your mind. It is a terrible tragedy, but that should not allow mental health issues to be stigmatised any further.

If you are not a sufferer, inform yourself. Learn to notice the symptoms, create a safe space.

You can find more information on depression and mental health issues here - http://psychcentral.com/



Thursday, 26 February 2015

Dane Shuffy Part 2: Pastry Panic




In a world where Care Bears are motivational figures and stealing candy from a baby is a real threat to society, Dane Shuffy keeps a kind, warm eye on his hometown, Fluff-e-ventura.

Episode Two


Dane Shuffy awoke in his bed, drenched in sweat. Which was sticky. He had another nightmare. He could not remember what happened, but he had no time to worry about that now. His phone was ringing. It was half past 5 in the morning. What could be wrong?

"Meester Shuff-lee! You must come qweek! Ze bakery, she iz on fi-errrr!" squealed a panicked voice. All concerns of his nightmare left him. Dane Shuffy knew this could mean the end of the wicky-sticky pastries that he often fondled so fondly. 

"The wicky-sticky pastries, man! What of the wicky-sticky pastries?!" cried Dane Shuffy.

"Ze pastries, zey too arrr on fi-errrr!" replied the French noise.

Dane Shuffy shuffled like he never shuffled before. The stairs of his apartment block were a blur as he shuffled down, fearing the impending stench of burning wicky-sticky.

Dane Shuffy made it to the bakery before the fire spread too far. Fending off a panicked French man, Dane Shuffy braved the flames face on, rescuing the wicky-sticky pastries from harm. 

The town of Fluff-e-ventura presented Dane Shuffy with a lifetime supply of wicky-sticky pastries, for his heroism.



FLUFF-E-NEWS

Local Man Loses His Head (And Family)
The same night his business and home burned to the ground, local French business man mourns the loss of his wife (French) and his six puff pastries (children, French), all burned alive in a disastrous fire. 
The same French business man claims Dane Shuffy is to blame, calling him "dangerous... completely, utterly useless".
Locals have found these claims to be complete nonsense, with one individual stating, "Not at all, he's adorable! Have you seen him shuffle along?".
The mourning French man is facing a court hearing for defamation of character.



THE END.